Fish and Guitar – Level 1
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar. But you can’t tuna fish.
The Little Lamb – Level 2
If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus is the Lamb of God, does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
Dolphins – Level 3
Dolphins are so intelligent! Do you know what they can do in few weeks in a dolphinarium? They can train a man to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish three times a day!
Kissing the Secretary – Level 1
It is a beautiful morning. Dean comes early into his office… and sees Martin. Martin is kissing his secretary. Dean doesn’t like this. Martin is his employee!
He screams: “Martin, do I pay you for this?”
“No sir, I am doing this for free.”
Dog Writes a Letter to God – Level 2
Dear God,
When I get to Heaven, can I sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Also, are there any postmen in Heaven? If so, will I have to apologise?
Thank You,
The Dog
An Old Married Couple Watching TV – Level 3
An old married couple was watching TV, and the husband had the remote. He was switching between a fishing channel and a porn channel. The wife soon became very annoyed.
“For God’s sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!”
Little Johnny and the Teacher – Level 1
“Johnny, give me a sentence that starts with I.”
“I is…”
“No, Little Johnny. Always say I am.”
“All right… I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
Thousand Aspirins – Level 2
“Doctor, I felt miserable and I tried to commit suicide. I decided to swallow a thousand aspirins.”
“Really? And what happened?”
“I started feeling much better after the first two.”
Blonde Borrowed a Book from the Library – Level 3
A blonde goes to the library:
“I borrowed a book from you last week, but it was so boring! No action at all, only a huge amount of numbers!”
“Aha, so it was you who took our phone book!”
A Girl in a Pet Shop – Level 1
A girl goes to a pet shop. She asks the sales assistant, “Do you have a wasp?”
The assistant says, “Sorry, little lady. We don’t have any wasps.”
“What? You’re lying! I can see a wasp in the window right now!”