Joke about a Bed – Level 3

Peter goes to a psychologist. “Doctor, I’ve got trouble,” he says. “Every time when I get into bed, I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed and I think there is somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. I think I am crazy!”
The doctor thinks for a moment. Then he says, “Just be my patient for 2 years. Come to me three times a week and I will help you.”
“How much will I pay?” Peter asks.
“A hundred dollars per visit,” the doctor says.
Peter replies, “I’ll think about it.”
Peter never visits the doctor again. Sometime later, he meets the doctor on the street.
“Why didn’t you come to see me again?” the doctor asks.
“A hundred dollars per visit? It’s too expensive for me. A barman helped me for 10 dollars.”
The doctor is surprised, “What did he do with you?”
“He told me to cut off the legs of the bed.”

On a Business Trip – Level 3

A general manager was with his secretary on a business trip. They had to be accommodated in a room with a single bed because all the other rooms were full. After dinner and several glasses of wine, the manager says:
“Look, we only have one bed. How are we going to sleep tonight? As husband and wife or as a general manager and a secretary?”
“As husband and wife,” the secretary cheerfully answers. When the manager hears that, he turns to the wall and starts snoring.

Boy With a Monkey – Level 3

A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he saw a policeman who said, “Now, now young boy, I think you should take that monkey to the zoo.”
The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again when he saw the same policeman. The policeman said, “Hey boy, I thought I told you to take that monkey to the zoo!”
The boy answered, “I did! Today, I’m taking it to the cinema.”

The Ideal Woman to Marry – Level 3

One day a friend asked Fred, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”
Fred replied, “Well, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”
His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, “Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.”
The friend said, “So, what’s the problem?”
Fred replied, “My father doesn’t like her.”

Four Expectant Fathers – Level 3

Four expectant fathers are waiting in a hospital while their wives are in labour. The nurse comes to the waiting room and tells the first man, “Congratulations, you’re a father of twins.”
“What a coincidence,” the man says. “I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.”
A little later, the nurse comes back and tells the second man, “You are a father of triplets.”
“That’s really an incredible coincidence,” he answers. “I work for the 3M Corporation.”
An hour later, the nurse tells the third man that his wife has just given birth to quadruplets.
The man says, “I don’t believe it! I work for the Four Seasons. What a coincidence…”
When the third man says that, everyone looks at the fourth man who has just fainted. After a second, he opens his eyes and whispers, “Jesus, I work at Millennium Computers!”

God Will Save Me – Level 3

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn’t swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, “Do you need help, sir?”
The preacher calmly said, “No, God will save me.”
A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, “Hey, do you need help?”
The preacher replied again, “No, God will save me.”
Finally, the preacher drowned and went to heaven. The preacher asked God, “Why didn’t you save me?”
God replied, “Fool, I sent you two boats!”

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson – Level 3

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson go camping. They put up their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Some time in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson and says, “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson says, “I can see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes says, “And what does it mean, Watson?”
Watson replies, “Well, if there are millions of stars, and even if a few of those stars have planets, then it’s quite likely there are some planets like ours out there. And if there are planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes says, “Watson, you idiot, it means that someone has stolen our tent.”

 


We have detected that you are using an AdBlocking extension.
Please turn off this kind of software and reload the page.