One earring – Level 2

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be normally a conservative man and is curious about his sudden change of style.
The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring,” he replies quietly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my car.”

(I always wondered how this trend started.)

 

Be My Valentine – Level 2

A man goes into a post office one day. A middle-aged bald man is standing at the counter. He is sticking stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He also sprays the envelopes with perfume.
The man goes to the bald man and asks him,
“What are you doing?”
“I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards. They’re signed, ‘Guess who?'”
“But why?”
“I’m a divorce lawyer.”

 

The Perfect Man – Level 2

The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel and never mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.

The perfect man loves children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
And a good husband to his bride.

The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He’ll do anything in his power
To express his love to you.

The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He’s a best friend to your mother
and kisses away your pain.

He will never make you cry
or batter you in any way
To hell with this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay.

 

Old Age – Level 2

An old man went to the doctor. He had problems with a terrible pain in his leg.
“I am afraid, it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “I can’t do anything about it.”
“That can’t be true!” replied the old man, “You just don’t know what it is”.
“How can you possibly know that I am wrong?” asked the doctor.
“Well it’s simple,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exactly same age!”

 


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