A man wants to be a monk. He goes to a monastery. He talks to the head monk.
The head monk says,
“You must be quiet all the time. You can say only two words every three years.”
The man says OK. After the first 3 years, the head monk comes to him and says,
“What are your two words?”
“Food cold!” the man says.
Three more years go by and the head monk comes to him and says,
“What are your two words?”
“Clothes dirty!” the man shouts.
Three more years go by and the head monk comes to him and says,
“What are your two words?”
“I finish!” says the man.
“Well,” the head monk says, “It is logical and I understand. All your time in here, you speak only about problems!”
“Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
“Meat!”
“Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
“Bacon!”
“Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
“Homework!”
Jesus is in heaven. He goes for a walk. He walks along the walls. He hears a voice. It is coming from the other side. It is the voice of an old man.
“Hello? Hello?” says the man.
“Who is it?” asks Jesus.
“Just a poor, old carpenter. I’m looking for my son.”
“Joseph?”
“Pinocchio?”
It is a beautiful morning. Dean comes early into his office… and sees Martin. Martin is kissing his secretary. Dean doesn’t like this. Martin is his employee!
He screams: “Martin, do I pay you for this?”
“No sir, I am doing this for free.”