A man wants to be a monk. He goes to a monastery. He talks to the head monk. The head monk says, “You must be quiet all the time. You can say only two words every three years.” The man says OK. After the first 3 years, the head monk comes to him and says, “What are your two words?” “Food cold!” the man says. Three more years go by and the head monk comes to him and says, “What are your two words?” “Clothes dirty!” the man shouts. Three more years go by and the head monk comes to him and says, “What are your two words?” “I finish!” says the man. “Well,” the head monk says, “It is logical and I understand. All your time in here, you speak only about problems!”
A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. To his shock, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?” St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
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