Hell – Level 3

A man died and went straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms that he could choose from in which to spend eternity.
The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn’t breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.
The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn’t want that room, and they moved on.
The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The man looked for a while and then told the devil that this room would be all right.
The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, drank his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, “Break time is over! Time for another 10,000 push-ups!”

 

Game – Level 1

A sad man walks into a bar, and the barman asks him what the problem is.
“My life is horrible,” the man says. “Every night, I play a game of chess with my wife, and every night she beats me.”
“Well, why don’t you stop playing chess?” the barman asks.
“I love the game,” the man says, “I’m a genius. I never lose.”
The barman doesn’t understand. “But you say that your wife always beats you.”
“Well,” the man says, “She doesn’t like to lose.”

 

Photographer – Level 1

A photographer for a national magazine wants to take pictures of a great forest fire. His boss tells him that a small plane will wait for him at the airport. The plane will fly him over the fire.

The photographer comes to the airport only an hour before sunset. A small airplane is waiting there. He jumps in with his camera and shouts, “Go!” The nervous man who is sitting in the pilot’s cabin starts the plane and soon they’re in the air. There is a strong wind and the plane is making strange moves.

“Fly over the north side of the fire,” says the photographer, “And go very low.”

“Why?” asks the nervous pilot.

“Because I will take pictures!” shouts the photographer. “I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!”

The pilot says, “You are not the flight instructor?”

 

Corn – Level 2

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and shouted at the boy, “Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon up later.”

”That’s very nice of you,” Willis answered, “But I don’t think my father would like me to.”

“Don’t worry. Everything will be okay,” the farmer replied.

“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and he said, “But my father won’t like it.”

After a good dinner, Willis thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know my father is going to be really angry.”

“I don’t think so. Everything will be okay,” the neighbour said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?”

“Under the wagon.”

 

Soldier – Level 2

Some Polish, English, and French guys are running away from German soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide by each climbing a tree.
When the Germans arrive, they go to the first tree where the English guy is, and shout, “We know you’re up there. Come down.” The English guy, thinking fast, says, “Tweet, tweet, tweet.”
The Germans, thinking it’s a bird, move on to the next tree where the French guy is and once again shout, “We know you’re up there. Come down.”
The French guy, thinking fast, says, “Hoot, hoot, hoot.” The Germans, thinking it’s an owl, move on to the next tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, “We know you’re up there. Come down.”

 

Get daily jokes to your email