Twenty-five Hours a Day – Level 2
“I have so much work to do. It’s terrible! I’m working twenty-five hours a day!”
“You are not! There are only 24 hours in one day!”
“That’s right. I have to get up an hour earlier.”
A Vegetarian and the Pork – Level 3
The leader of the vegetarian society couldn’t help himself anymore. He needed to try some pork. He really wanted to know what it tastes like. And so, on a summer’s day, he told his members that he was going on a vacation. He went out of town, and visited the nearest restaurant.
He ordered a roasted pig, and impatiently waited to try it. After a few minutes, he heard someone call his name. He saw that one of his colleagues was walking towards him. Just at that same moment, the waiter came with a roasted pig, and it had an apple in its mouth.
“Well, isn’t this just terrible!?” says the leader after a moment, “All I did was order an apple, and look what the apple comes with!”
An Old Man at the Doctor – Level 1
An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, “I have your test results. I have bad news for you. You have cancer and you have Alzheimer’s.”
The old man says, “It is not so bad. I don’t have cancer!”
Long Live the Married Men – Level 2
A recent study shows that men who are married live longer than single men. However, many of them want to die.
What Do Beer and Women Have in Common? – Level 3
Scientists have recently discovered that beer contains a little of female hormones. This was proved when 100 men were given 12 pints of beer. Scientists observed that a surprising percentage of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
Balanced Diet – Level 1
What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand!
Alcohol Joke – Level 2
Doctor: “I am not sure why you are not well. I think it could be the alcohol.”
Patient: “That’s OK. I will come back when you are sober.”
Memory Problems – Level 3
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life. They had a good time. One day, one of the men, Harry, started talking about a fantastic restaurant. He went to this restaurant the other night with his wife.
“Really?” one of the men said, “What’s it called?”
Harry thinks for a few seconds and says, “What are those good-smelling flowers called again?”
“Do you mean roses?” the first man asked.
“Yes that’s it!” and he looked at his wife and shouted, “Rose! What’s the name of the restaurant we went to the other night?”
Dogs Are Watching You! – Level 1
Every Snack You Make, Every Meal You Bake, Every Bite You Take I’ll Be Watching You!
Ten Things I know about You – Level 2
1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.
4) You have just tried it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face, and you have just skipped number 5.
8) You have just checked if there is number 5.
9) You are laughing at this because you love having fun.
10) You are probably going to send this to your friends.