At School: What Does It Give You? – Level 1
“Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
“Meat!”
“Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
“Bacon!”
“Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
“Homework!”
Photographic Memory – Level 1
Everyone has a photographic memory.
Only some don’t have the film.
What Starts with… – Level 1
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
…
An envelope!
The Carpenter’s Son – Level 1
Jesus is in heaven. He goes for a walk. He walks along the walls. He hears a voice. It is coming from the other side. It is the voice of an old man.
“Hello? Hello?” says the man.
“Who is it?” asks Jesus.
“Just a poor, old carpenter. I’m looking for my son.”
“Joseph?”
“Pinocchio?”
People Ignore Me – Level 1
A patient walks into a doctor’s office.
“Doctor, people ignore me.”
“Next!”
Why are Women like Telephones? – Level 1
Women are like telephones. You hold them, and they love it. You talk to them, and they love it.
But press the wrong button, and you are DISCONNECTED.
Fish and Guitar – Level 1
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar. But you can’t tuna fish.
Kissing the Secretary – Level 1
It is a beautiful morning. Dean comes early into his office… and sees Martin. Martin is kissing his secretary. Dean doesn’t like this. Martin is his employee!
He screams: “Martin, do I pay you for this?”
“No sir, I am doing this for free.”
Little Johnny and the Teacher – Level 1
“Johnny, give me a sentence that starts with I.”
“I is…”
“No, Little Johnny. Always say I am.”
“All right… I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
A Girl in a Pet Shop – Level 1
A girl goes to a pet shop. She asks the sales assistant, “Do you have a wasp?”
The assistant says, “Sorry, little lady. We don’t have any wasps.”
“What? You’re lying! I can see a wasp in the window right now!”