A lawyer opens the door of his BMW. Suddenly, a passing car hits the door and it flies away. The lawyer gets so mad – he loves his BMW so much! Soon, the police arrive: “Officer, look what happened to my Beemer!” “Lawyers are so materialistic!” says the officer, “You are worried about your stupid BMW! Didn’t you notice you’re missing your left arm?” “Oh my god! Where is my Rolex!?”
Dave and Kevin are at a New Year’s Eve party, and Dave asks Kevin for a cigarette. “Didn’t you quit?!” “I am in the process of quitting. Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.” “Phase one?” “Yeah,” laughs Dave, “I just stopped buying them.”
It’s Saturday evening. The pastor asks the assistant priest: “What do you want to do in sermon the tomorrow?” “I think I will tell people that it is important to save their money, their food…” “Good, but ask them to give a little money first.”
An old man goes to the doctor. He complains that his wife can’t hear. “You need to test your wife. Stand far behind her and ask her a question. Then, start going closer to her. You will see how close you’ll get when she hears you.” The old man is happy that he can help his wife. He runs home. He sees that his wife is making dinner. “Honey!” the man says standing 20 feet away. “What are we having for dinner?” he asks. The wife doesn’t reply. The man tries again. He stands 15 feet away, but there is no answer. He stands 10 feet away and asks again. No answer. Finally, he is 5 feet away, “Honey, what are we having for dinner?” “I’ve told you four times! Lasagne!”
1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips. 4) You have just tried it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your face, and you have just skipped number 5. 8) You have just checked if there is number 5. 9) You are laughing at this because you love having fun. 10) You are probably going to send this to your friends.