A woman is in bed with her lover who is also her husband`s best friend.
They make love for hours and then when they are relaxing in bed, the phone rings. It is the woman’s house, so she answers the phone. The best friend listens. He only hears her side of the conversation.
“Hello? Oh, hi… I’m so happy that you called… Really? That’s great… I’m happy to hear that you are having such a good time… Oh, that is fantastic… Thanks. Okay. Bye, bye!”
When she finishes the conversation, her lover asks, “Who was that?”
“Oh,” she says, “That was my husband. He told me about all the great time which he is having on his fishing trip with you.”
Mother comes home from a business trip and she asks her little son, “Well, Johnny, how was your life with father when I was away?” “Everything was fine, mum,” the little boy says. “Daddy took me to the middle of the lake by boat every morning and I swam home alone.” “Wasn’t it difficult for you to swim?” “Oh, no, mum, the only problem was that I had to get out of the bag first.”
An old man is going by car. He is going on a big road. His phone rings. He answers the phone. He hears his wife. She tells him, “Herman, I listened to the news. They say that there is a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!” “It is not only one car,” says Herman, “It is many cars!”
A man wants to be a monk. He goes to a monastery. He talks to the head monk. The head monk says, “You must be quiet all the time. You can say only two words every three years.” The man says OK. After the first 3 years, the head monk comes to him and says, “What are your two words?” “Food cold!” the man says. Three more years go by and the head monk comes to him and says, “What are your two words?” “Clothes dirty!” the man shouts. Three more years go by and the head monk comes to him and says, “What are your two words?” “I finish!” says the man. “Well,” the head monk says, “It is logical and I understand. All your time in here, you speak only about problems!”